


Man Out of Time

by MissScorp



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Post-Avengers, reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 15:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18672523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissScorp/pseuds/MissScorp
Summary: Yes, he liked Stark. He liked him a lot.He just wished he’d shut up sometimes.





	Man Out of Time

When that New York police officer asked him, “why the hell should I take orders from you?” he responded by slamming his shield into an attacking Chitauri. Physically showing why the officer should listen to him was the only way he could think of to get his point across. It worked as the officer turned to relay his orders to his men.

The question continued to bounce around inside his mind throughout the rest of the battle. He managed to largely ignore it as he fought to stop the invasion, but now with the dust settled, and the catastrophe averted, it returned to haunt him. Were someone to ask him right then about why they should follow his orders, he’d be just as dumbfounded as he was out in the streets. He simply couldn’t think of one good reason for why they should take orders from him.

 _Why should anybody take orders from me_? His eyebrows lowered over the bridge of his nose as he tried to think of a suitable answer.  _What gives me the right to tell capable men and women what to do_?  _Just because I’m Captain America doesn’t give me the right to come in and take over an operation._

Most people had no clue about who Captain America even was. Most of them likely thought he was just some guy politicians hired to give a speech about the army making a man outta him, buying war bonds, and supporting the men fighting overseas by conserving resources. They didn’t know he liberated men from a HYDRA base believed unreachable. They likely were never told how he saved New York by crashing a bomber loaded with enough bombs to wipe out the entire state, and a good part of the northeast, off the map.

No, to them, Captain America simply didn’t exist.

 _It’d be better if I didn’t_ , he thought as he looked at the people seated around the small conference table in Stark's richly decorated office. Only Stark, Banner, and the Asgardian named Thor was present at this afternoon meeting. Barton and Romanoff returned to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters with Nick Fury for debriefing and to discuss where things would go next.

 _Sending Thor back to his home with Loki and the Tesseract seem like the best idea to me_.

Not that it was his call to make.

Of the four of them, Stark was who he felt best suited to making those kinds of calls. He had a good head on his shoulders. People would take orders from him since they knew and trusted Iron Man. Stark proved himself while Steve was still in suspended animation. He understood this modern age in ways Steve did not. He grew up in this world and so knew who the enemies were and what weapons they needed to defeat them.

 _So does Banner, though_ , he realized, gaze moving to the man seated to Stark’s left. Banner was Stark’s intellectual equal in Steve’s mind. Only, where Tony Stark was a technological genius with the ability to build things from nothing, Dr. Robert Bruce Banner was a renowned physicist with an expertise in the field of gamma radiation.

Exposure to radiation, in fact, caused Banner to develop his very dangerous alter-ego. That angry green side of him was why Steve didn’t believe Banner needed the burden that came from being a team leader.  _Not unless we want to smash up more of the city than we did during the Invasion._

That left only Thor to step up if Stark suddenly found himself out of commission or needed elsewhere. Despite being as much out-of-place in this world as Steve was, the Thunder God still had a better grasp on it than he did.  _He had time to adapt to this world is why_ , he thought as the Asgardian let out a hearty laugh at something Stark said.  _He didn’t wake up and immediately find himself thrust into battling aliens led by some egomaniac_.

An egomaniac, he realized a split second later who was also his brother.

No, it was Stark who needed to lead the Avengers.  _Until I get myself up to speed, anyway_. It was his world, his time, and he reigned over it in an iron suit he designed.  _Kid’s just like his old man there_ , Steve thought, a faint smile curving his lips. A keen intellect and technological abilities weren’t all the kid got from Howard Stark, though. His dry wit, massive ego, and enough arrogance to fly a B-17 also came from Howard.

_What other things have changed since I was frozen?_

He took a long look around the lavish office, taking careful note of every new-fangled piece of technology. Computers the size of an encyclopedia, flat-screen televisions as big as a window, phones the size of a pack of cigarettes, digital clocks, and portable electronic devices that could fit in the palm of his hand. Items that came about during the seventy years he spent frozen in ice.

He turned to stare out the huge bayside windows at the Midtown Manhattan skyline gleaming in the late afternoon sun.  _So much is the same_ , he thought while studying the familiar skyline. Yet absolutely none of it was as he left it in 1942. The world had gone on around him, evolving and advancing into this great technological beast he didn’t think he'd ever understand. Stark called him a relic. At the time, it rankled.  _He’s right, though. I’m a relic that belongs to a time only I can remember._

Of those in this room, only he recalled the war, HYDRA, fighting Red Skull, losing Bucky, and Peggy.  _Is she alive_? Hope beat in his breast. She’d be about the age he’d be had he not crashed that plane in the Arctic. If she was alive, and something told him she was, could he bring himself to go and see her? Would she even want to see him? 

_Does she even still think of me after all this time?_

Seventy years was a long time. It wasn’t like he expected her to spend the rest of her life pining for him. For that dance they never got to have.  _Did she move on after the war, get married, and have children_? He hoped she did. He hoped her life was full of happiness and good times.

As it might have been had he returned as planned.

_I don’t regret what I did. I’ll never regret crashing that HYDRA bomber into the Arctic. It was the only way he could stop Red Skull from bombing cities like New York._

No, the only thing he regretted was not getting to Bucky in time to save him. His eyes shut as the memories of those last moments on that train crept up from the vault he hadn’t locked them away in.

Blue light, groaning metal, cold wind. Him grabbing the shield and throwing it at the super soldier before scrambling across the side of that train to reach Bucky.

Metal snapping, him shouting, Bucky screaming as he disappeared into the frozen abyss, and the helpless rage that pulsed beneath the grief and guilt as he could do nothing but watch. 

The conversation droned on around him as he allowed himself to grieve for the friend he lost. It wasn't he was unaware of what his fellow Avengers were discussing. He knew perfectly well what they talked about. It was just that chatting about the Chitauri invasion, what to do with Thor's brother and the Tesseract, portals to different worlds, S.H.I.E.L.D, and the possibility of more alien invasions in the future all took a backseat to the thoughts and emotions running through him.

This was the first chance he had gotten since waking up in this technologically advanced world to process everything that happened. He had a right to how he felt. To grieve for what he lost. Because for all that he was a loyal American, for all he had done for the world, for all his bravado and courage, for all his heart and passion, Steve "Captain America" Rogers was still one thing at the root of it all:  _human_.

It was okay for him to feel, question or wonder. Why did he survive his arctic coffin? What purpose did Fury have for him now that he was awake? How was he supposed to fit into a world that was so unlike his own? Why shouldn’t he wonder about the direction of his life?

Where he was to go? What should he do? Did people expect him to act as if he finally returned home from the war? Pick up his life by pretending those seventy years didn’t matter? Did he forget about the friends and family he left in the 40s? The chances and opportunities he’d not get to take? Well, he couldn’t do that, he decided, hands balling into fists beneath the table. He wouldn’t do that. By God, he was only a man.

Not a displaced god with a mystical hammer named  _Mjolnir_. Not a doctor with a green alter ego that could smash apart alien transport carriers as if it was nothing more than building blocks. Not a billionaire playboy with the engineering skills to build iron suits and anything else they needed.

Just a man trying as hard as he could to fit into a world he wasn’t sure even wanted him.

"Hey Rogers, Alzheimer's finally catch up with you?"

"What?" Steve turned to look at the figure negligently reclining in a swiveling office chair, twirling a pen in one hand, and with a smirk that reminded him so much of Howard it hurt. "You say something, Stark?"

"Seventy years as a Capsicle damage your hearing?"

By God, he liked Stark's kid. He had proven himself willing to make the sacrifice play when it came right down to it.

However, the kid was testing even  _his_  patience.

"I swear, Stark," he said on a long, weary sigh. "If I hear one more wisecrack out of you…"

“Or you’ll what?” His lips kicked up at the corners. “Hit me with your cane?”

Yes, he liked Stark. He liked him a lot.

He just wished he’d shut up sometimes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all! Hope this finds you well! 
> 
> Please, if you like this piece, kudo/bookmark it!


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